Thursday, April 18
It rained five inches yesterday and I spent the morning in the basement sweeping rainwater seepage into the floor drain. Midday I pulled myself away for a scheduled call with my Kabbalah teacher. In his Israeli accent and limited English, Yosef told me sweeping rainwater was cleansing, that the fresh rainwater was cleaning out my physical and metaphysical basements. Actually, that’s what it felt like.
I asked Yosef if he would pray, or send light, or do whatever he did when I went to court. Yosef reminded me that we don’t pray for outcomes, that God doesn’t rig things for us.
“I know,” I said. “I ask the Great Divine to manage and direct situations for the greater good. I’ve been asking the Light to handle my divorce. But I’m scared. This is my life. It’s the roof over my head, the food in my mouth. I want to be okay. I do want a certain outcome.”
“We have to get out of the way and let the Light handle it,” Yosef said. “Scan the Zohar asking the Light for the best outcome. It’s easy to do when the stakes aren’t high. It’s hard when they are. This is how we exercise and get stronger. Scan the Zohar every night and bring it to court with you.”