Saturday, April 28, 2018

Why Do I Want It?--"Thank You Ashley Madison" excerpt

Monday, May 6

     Blake and I planned to play nine holes early this morning, but it took me forever to get him out of bed. Knowing it would conflict with my phone meetings, one to discuss doing social media for the Kabbalah Center, and another with Yosef, I started a round with him at eleven-thirty. As we walked to the third hole, I called the media coordinator and chatted with her for ten minutes. An hour later, l called Yosef from a fairway. Blake stomped up to me angrily.
     “Really? Are you kidding me? You can’t do this.”
     I pulled a hybrid out of my bag and took a half-assed swing.
     “Mom,” Blake yelled. “There are people behind us. Get off the phone and play. You’re being rude.”
     “My son got home from college yesterday and we’re playing golf,” I told Yosef. “I thought I’d be done playing by now, but my son didn’t get out of bed early enough.” I narrowed my eyes at Blake. “He’s telling me I’m being rude. I’m new to golf. I’m sorry. Do you have openings later?”
     Yosef scheduled me for five-thirty and Blake and I finished playing. I hit a lot better after the lesson with Golf Guy.
     “You’re looking really good Mom,” Blake said as we ate lunch. “You need to work on your short game now. Tell the guy you’re having a lesson with to work on chipping, using your wedges.”
     “I’ll mention it.”
     I drove to the course where I was having my second lesson with Golf Guy. I dropped my clubs by the range and found a secluded spot to call Yosef. I love Yosef. He always sounds thrilled to hear from me. His smile is audible.
     “You’re moving to a new phase now,” Yosef said excitedly. “You’re connecting to the next level. Your vessel is built to receive, but it’s also ready to share more now. What do you want? This is the best time to ask yourself, ‘What do I want? Why do I want it? How much do I want it?’ If, for example, you want a new relationship, is it about sharing or all about you? Ask, ‘What’s my ability to affect change in others? How much is this about making a difference in the lives of others?’ Ask, ‘What do I need to do on a daily basis to do this, to connect to more light? How can I expand my vessel? What are the tools I can use to expand it?’
     “Schedule a time to scan the Zohar every day,” Yosef said. “Do it at a specific time every morning. You can vary what you scan, where you scan. But talk to the light. What do you want today? Once a week, scan after midnight, maybe on a Saturday night when you can sleep in the next morning. Keep to a schedule. Don’t just scan whenever because then you won’t do it regularly.”
     I walked to the driving range. Golf Guy was waiting for me. He said I was still not hinging my wrists correctly so he tweaked my grip and had me practice hitting down, ripping up chunks of grass. To stop me from hovering over the ball and running through a mental checklist, he started yelling “Now,” and making me hit the ball on command. I was hitting better by the end of it.
     “You want to practice for a while?” he asked.
     “Just hit with your eight iron, your driver, and your wedges. The next time we’ll work on your short game. Your short game is sixty-five percent of your game. Most people come here and just smash the ball. Oh, and I want to cash in that dinner rain check.” He hugged me and drove off in his cart.

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